Monday, August 29, 2016

Fear of the Lord

I have never really grasp the idea of fearing the Lord. Because my reasoning is that if God is love why would we fear Him? After all, perfect love cast out ALL fear.

But as I was watching scarlet heart ryeo yesterday.. I was just overwhelmed with immense amount of sadness. 99% of the reason being the 4th princes being outcast by the parents etc. Even after watching the show, I can't stop thinking about it. I couldn't concentrate and focus on my work.

That was when I remembered that I haven't done my Quiet time. I have not spent time with my first love. I picked up the bible, prayed and read the bible. Peace entered my heart and sadness was lifted off.

Something clicked. 

Fear of the Lord is not fear of the punishment given by God but the fear of not being able to connect with Him.

I was drawn away from God when watching the show. Too immersed in the plot and drooling over 4th prince (what's new). So much so, that my mind was not sober.  That was how easy it is for the devil to pull me away from God. That few moment was terrible and I will never wish to experience it again.

I am slave to whatever I CHOOSE and DESIRE to enslave myself to.

So... I told my sister that I don't want to watch the series anymore. Not until when I no longer desire to watch it.

They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity--for "people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.- 2 Peter 2:19

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Vegan brownies

I saw a recipe of brownie and have been craving it ever since. AND WHEN  I SAW THIS RECIPE SOMEWHERE I JUMPED AT IT AND MADE IT. I reached home at 11pm and starting baking. 

I am crazy. I know. I cant believe either. 

A video posted by Si Ying Ong (@supersiying) on


110g all-purpose/plain flour
1 tbsp  peanut butter
20g cocoa powder
2 tbsp chia seed
3g baking powder
190g granulated sugar
50g golden syrup (optional)
120g non-dairy milk
5 drops vanilla extract (optional)

Preheat the oven to 180°C (355°F).Sift all the powders into a bowl, add in the other ingredients and stir well to complete the batter.Pour the batter into a greased cake pan (our was 8 inches or 20 cm large) and bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, remembering to rotate the pan half way through the cooking time.

It was good but I felt that it was a little too dense. Very cakey and chewy (?) Its a confusing and complex feeling. 

I will probably find another recipe to make and hopefully get a little lighter brownie. 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

05// The heart of serving // AWITS

I was serving a few days ago and I must say that my mindset is renewed towards the heart behind serving.

Its really not how fast I can start doing word or how many segement of the service I am doing but about the heart and purpose behind every single thing I do. I am always excited to serve because I love to take on challenges by doing new things and really just want to ease the burden of the team by serving more. But as I serve, the focus of why I serve quickly shifted to how well I can do a shot or how much I am doing because my heart was not set on Him. My heart is not set to serve Him but to serve my pride and ego.

I must remember that I am first a servant then a live feed crew.

Its really not about how many times you serve or how quickly I rise up to do certain things but the heart behind it. Its all about the heart. This season I want to challenge myself to renew my heart to serve for the audience of one.

I am always all about the speed and quantity in the things I do but this season i just want to take things slowly and to shift my focus and to improve my skills even if I am just doing 1 song.

I want to do more by doing less.

To train myself to have the patience and humility to still do the same things each week and have the same passion and curiousity to everything I do.

Allow God to mould me and to shift my heart to serve for the audience of one.

Use me to serve you and your people.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Time alone

I went to SAM muesum to observe a workshop carried out. I went to a beautiful new exhibition called imaginarium. The exhibition raised awarness of how humans are overfishing and polluting the sea. 
This exhibition potrayed how humans pollute the sea with plastic. And as we walk pass, the artist wants us to know and emphatise with the poor fishies who swim in the sea. Personally, I felt so suffocated and there was soooo much trash every where. Poor fishes. 

One of the students said that we have to keep the water clean or else all the fishes will die and we will have to be vegeterian. Good thinking kid. 

One of my personal favourite at the exhibition is this one. All the exhibitions are interactive meaning that we can touch it but not tug it. Perfect outing spot for an an. There are big whales where the children can seat on etc. Looks really fun!

After work I went to the thrift shop near SAM to dig for some treasures but then I realise that I didnt bring cash. :( I gotta put all my treasure back on the rack and leave .
However, I went to a mall where they sell second hand books. Really loved every single but of my time there although the whole time I was lugging a really heavy bag and tired body around. Tip to self: dont bring such a heavy bag next time if you are gonna spend time alone. 

Made history by eating alone at 18 chef. Barely used my phone and simply just enjoyed and savour my food as I read. 2 girls beside me was like constly looking at me, glancing to see what I am doing. Never see people spend time along before ah? 

Through that short 2hrs roaming around the city I thought through many things I wanna do. Maybe next time when I go on a lone adventure again I should brimg less things and cash so I dony have to worry wheter or  not the shop accpets mets and get tired out easily. 

I thought through my side project and think of how I can improve myself. I am really joyful and satisfied with where I am now but I gotta also always learn not to be contended and try to reach and conquer new ground for Christ. 

Sunday, June 5, 2016

04 // Gift of salvation // AWITS

Continuing from the "revelation" I got from watching Xmen.. a thought came to my mind and it is..

"Why do we build what we build when at the end of age all will be destroyed?"

As I dwell deeper into the topic, God spoke to me in Colossians 3:18-25. 

             Do whatever we do with our heart as we are working for the Lord, always. Not to win favor of men but with sincerity of the heart and reverence of the Lord. 

WHAT WE DO WITH IT (Gift of salvation): Whatever we do will be used as a tool and medium to bring the best gift to the people around us and that is the gift of salvation

In school or at home whatever we do can and will be used to glorify God. The product of our labor , be it good or bad, will direct attention to Him who made it possible. 

WHY WE DO IT; God place things into our life and take things out for a reason. To direct and to enable you to deliver the gift of salvation to His beloved. It is not mere coincidence that he/she is my friend/family member/cousin.. surely there must be a reason.

Perhaps this is why people and things leave us, because when their time is up in our life and when it no longer serve its purpose, it is to be removed and we to have to move on so that we too can go on to the next level to conquer higher grounds. To conquer what He has prepared us for from the previous season.  If we hold on to it longer than it should, then it will just hinder us from the destiny we are suppose to live out. 

HOW WE DELIVER IT: The gift presented by the right person will have the ripple effect if not it simply will not work. 

Just like how if my boyfriend (im still single *sobs*) is to hand me a ring it will have a very different effect if my sister hand me a ring. 

The purpose of why you present the gift is also very important. Doing it for praise from Men or to guide His beloved back to Him?

A song of ascents. Of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.

Psalm 127:1

Really, without God we labor in vain. We may do a million things in out own strength but it will never be able to be compared to that 1 thing that I do with Christ. 

Like what Garrett said

1 x 10 = 10
1 x 100 = 100
1 x God = Eternity

Jesus, lead the way. 

03 // Evangelism // AWITS

Recently I went to watch x men apocalypse and I must say that it was the BEST movie I have ever watch.

Through that movie, it just showed me how fragile and insignificant things are.

Will it matter when Jesus come?
Will it matter that I dont have a room of my own?
Will it matter that I didnt get that scholarship?
Will it matter that I have been wronged?

No. It wont matter. Because all those things are way to insignificant to matter. It only matter because we made the decision to make it matter. We made a decision to invest time into the matter and grow the "importance" of that matter in our mind.

But if you see from the bigger picture, from God's perspective, it doesnt matter. That problem is just a speck of dust and that person is just a passer by in your lifetime. It all happens for a reason and when their time is up into our life, we too have to move on.

Relationships are the one that matter. If my family and friends do not have the gift of salvation, then whatever cake or whatever card I make doesnt matter. This is why evangelism is so important.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep and keep what cannot be taken away.

Jesus is coming back. When He is back, I just want to be told that I have done all that I can to become and fufill all that He wants me to be.

Some may say that we should dictate our own future and not leave things up to fate or a 3rd party but the beauty about Christianity is that my Christ and I are one. He lives in me and I in Him. We are together so as to fufill what He has planned for me. 

02: How God uses His peopel // AWITS

When I am weak, He is strong. 

I was reading Galatians this week and I have been LOVING galatians. The word has been speaking to me on such a personal level.

Pastor Bishop today shared about a story of how his grandson started crying when he broke his crayon into 2 pieces. Bishop went up to him and comforted him and told him that it is okay and now instead of 1 crayon he has 2.  He will be able to share it with his cousin.

Similarly, Out of the brokenness we have receive from this world we will be able to give to the world. We have to be first broken by God to be able to give. When you have been broken, you will have something to offer. There are no wasted years in God’s eyes.  I read from quiet time one day and God told me how He uses His people.

1. We are first selected by Him to be set apart from the world. Set apart means to be different and unique (not weird but unique)

2. We are broken and go through many challenges.

3. We find back our Father and saviour, Jesus Christ.  Starts reading His words and builds a relationship.

4. Start spreading the word of God.

5. God change us from the inside out.

6. Everyone start noticing the change that you have. The glow and peace that emits from you wherever you go. The transformation you have.

7. People will start believing in you, the walking and living testimony of how God's love is transformational. Even though we have been attacked and corrupted by the devil for 17 years but love wins. True love always win.

This really stood out to me because this just re emphasized that in God that is truly no wasted years. All those years that seems like we have "wasted" are just years that God is using to train us up.

01: The start // AWITS

When I am weak, He is strong.

April - present 2016

This season is all about relying on God's strength. It is all about how there are many things beyond my control and there is nothing I can do but to pray and wait upon Him. I will never be able to get through this season if I was the same Si Ying as I was in January 2016. 

Too much pride. Too much emphasis on achievement. Too much of me and not enough of Him.

Excited to see what God is preparing me for through this season. Excited, never nervous.

The critical turning point for the transition from the previous season to the current one is when I went for POLITE camp in church around April.
I was just drinking my teh ping, feeling really excited for service and just chatting with my friends when BAM. The holy spirit told me that this simple joy  in the little things is what I have been missing out. 

It all kind of make sense now.

I finished 2 big production in Jan- Feb but I never felt really joyful about it. 
More of like "okay.. now that I am done with this what's next?"

 But, it was the simple things like chatting with my church friends, spending time in church, lying on bed with my nephew and just having 18 chefs with my poly friends that made me truly joyful. And reflecting on this, made me realize how much I have missed out. I may have seem like a person who achieved many things at the age of 18 but looking back, I can tell you one thing and that is that...

I have lost more then I can gain. 

So that night, I decided that I want to make up for the time I have lost and do more and help wherever  I can.

I started to serve in church and I really wanted to carry His people in my heart daily.  

Wiggle dance ~(._.~)

Though shattered at some point, it was through those moments when I realize that I can only do this much with my own strength. 

"Break my heart for what breaks yours"

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Thus, this is my verse for this season. 

Thursday, June 2, 2016


So... I decided to come back to blogging although my command of English suck! But who cares? Definitely not me! (and probably my sister who is the only reader for this blog)

And if you read the last few blog, that was my attempt of keeping a food journal but I have always been a person who do not have enough discipline to do it for long run. Let's see how long I last this time round. :)


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Am I too busy for my own good?

So....I am suppose to be studying for my psych test this Friday but I am blogging instead after not blogging for SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long. I just want to clear my mind of all my thoughts and get down and STUDY the crap of out the notes. So here goes!

Am I too busy? I am currently studying applied drama with psychology in Singapore polytechnic. I am a year one student. When you study in this century,having good grades is not the only thing that is required! You need to have a nice portfolio and NETWORRRKKK.

So I am building my portfolio, studying and doing a million other things at once. My schd is CRAZY. There was 3 week last year where I am waking up at 6am and reaching home at 11pm. I wonder how I survived.

I feel like because of my constant "BUSY-NESS I am missing out.

Something I ask myself why do I have to do so many things at once? Why can't I just take a chill pill take a back seat and relax! Enjoy my journey in SP. Enjoy what it's like to be year 1 student. Make friends, go out with them and chit chat. I want to be able to go out with the girls in my class and eat eighteen chef and go shopping (even if I dont have the money).

P.S I have friends (lol I sound like a loner... maybe I am)

Don't get me wrong I LOVE whatever I am doing.  LOVE. From teaching drama to studying to rehearsing to serving, I LOVE every single bit of it. But as I look at my classmates and watch them have so much fun with each other, I think to myself if it is all worth it.

Am I too greedy to want to have all of them?

I dont know. I am just really confused. Although I may be a rather outspoken person when it comes to work, studies etc but I dont really talk to people about my feelings and my thoughts. Seems like everyone is just to busy to even hear it. Not that  I am unhappy with wherever I am... in fact I am in the happiest point of my entire 18 years of existence but something is missing. Maybe even Si Ying needs someone to hear her out. Not to give solutions but to simply hear what she has to say.